I should not go back to bed

5 out of 7 days a week, I want to stop and go back to bed. 

Entry #0000001

That’s how I feel when things do not go according to schedule and here, I’m referring to an actual schedule.
I have a ‘strict’ list of things to do each day and their time slots. However, things do not always go according to plan. I get 30 minutes late and 3 hours later, I am totally out of sync.

I crash into a chair with exasperation and all I want to do is sleep. I need a restart button, I’m sure tomorrow will be better, I just need to get out of today… fast.
But I cannot, so I mope – about how I could have finished some tasks earlier if I had just stayed focused, about how I need to do better with managing my time and tick tock goes the clock.

But that’s harmful. Wasting away the time I do have on the time already wasted.

At some point, we all want to hit the restart button. We want the day to end at 12pm, at the exact time something does not sit right with our taste buds. ‘No this day has gone sour, it is not worthy to be continued, can it end already?’

It reminds me of my walk with Christ. When I err, there is a tendency for me to want to dwell on my mistakes, my sins, my myopia. St. Paul lets us know that it does not work that way. In his letter to the Philippians, he writes:

“12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.
13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,
14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

In our daily lives and in our walk with God, we press on. We keep moving, we keep striving. There is a goal we must reach and that goal is what keeps us moving.

In the same way the Holy Spirit helps to remind us of the truth, I pray for the grace to forget what is behind and press on to the glory of God.

Shalom ♥🕊✨

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