“Love covers a multitude of sins…”
(1 Peter 4:8)
Abba, help me return this profound love you have shown me. You have been consistent with your love and right from when you lost man, you made up your mind to get Him back. You have never looked back since then. You have toasted me right from the beginning of time.
It wasn’t just your Son, it was You on the cross and you did this knowing that some may never accept You but for those that would, it was more than enough for You. You loved me, so You let me go. Hoping I would come back. I have Abba, I have.
Abba, Your thoughts are higher, I cannot comprehend. How You have forgiven me in advance, how You have absorbed my hurt before I dish it out and how You have made up Your mind that here is where You will stay. With me. Unconditionally.
That You would do all it takes to make me realize that ‘I’m Your guy! I’m really the coolest! Just try me and see!’
I have seen Lord. And I never want to leave.
I just want to give this love back to you. Spend time with you. Thank you. Confess my love for you. Hold you. Remain here. Focus on you. Sing your praise with understanding. Reflect on you. Stay with You. Just stay.
Isn’t it funny Abba, that even when I try to return this love; it is still you helping me? Isn’t it funny Abba, that You are rescuing me from myself even when I constantly push You away?
In Isaiah 64:8, You said that You are the Potter and I am the clay, the work of Your hands. How could You bear to see the work of Your hands rebel against You? How did it grieve You? How did it break Your heart? How could You look at me and still want me back? How Abba? How? How could You look at disobedient me, only alive because of Your breathe in me, and yet still living life like I owned myself? Like I gave me life?
How can you tell me to come boldly to Your throne to obtain mercy and grace? Like it’s my birth right? Like I don’t deserve judgment?
Abba, You overwhelm me. It’s too much for me. It’s too much for me. Teach me your love. Because my nature is sin, I have to consistently dwell in you to love right, like You do. Help me. Because if I leave here, where You are, I will perish.
I want this to be more than feelings. I want it to be a choice to remain in Your presence even when I don’t ‘feel’ it. Because here is where I want to be. And even when I forget how it feels sometimes, I want You to be my choice. I want to stay here.
I have seen it happen. I know my flesh fades the longer I stay with You. I know that my flesh cannot thrive in the applied knowledge of God. I know that all I have to do is tarry and Your presence comes down, because You are never in a hurry.
Abba, I am still learning but now I can boldly say that I know what love is. Love is You. Love is Your acceptance of the worst that I can be and choosing to stay with me still. Love is Your patience in teaching me who You are so I can come to love and respect You. Love above all, is spiritual maturity, what I pursue.
I will learn of You, I will go deeper with You. I will come to where You want us to be. By Your Spirit. Amen.
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