I don’t know how to handle disappointments.

If I cannot find the sliver lining, I am doomed. 12/10/22.

Dear Cheryl,

One of the most startling things about me is that I always have not just an idea but a calculated vision of how things should go. If things don’t go that way, it would be quite disappointing for me. For instance, if I say I want to eat jollof rice, I have an exact idea of how I want it to taste, so I get it from a place that will ensure I have that specific taste. If it does not match up, I may not be able to eat it. 

I know, I sound like a spoilt brat, abi? I’m not. But maybe I might be a tad bit too organised for my own good 🤭

A close friend of mine was quite surprised when she discovered I never listen to my music on shuffle. My reason? It messes with the order of things in my head. I already know what song comes next without shuffling, and I enjoy listening to music that way. If it’s shuffled, I feel like a DJ without a deck. Don’t worry; I’m not a control freak. I just like doing things in a certain way. Even my spontaneity is planned 😂

I really, really hate when the order of things in my head is tampered with.

But hey, it’s life. And if there is one thing I have learnt, it is that the best plan is no plan at all, but even that can backfire. It’s LIFE, like I said. 

Because life always tries to take the ‘order’ out of ‘orderliness,’ I have found a way of keeping my sanity – by finding the silver lining. I could be in the worst situation possible, way out of my planned routine or arrangement, but if I find just one positive aspect of it to focus all my energy on? I’m good, love, I’m good.

It got me thinking, is it possible to be in a situation way out of all my plans, routines or calculations, a place where I have no control? Is it possible to be in a situation where all hope is lost? Is it possible to be truly and deeply disappointed that I cannot find my way back to the top to gasp for air? I’m not sure. I’m of the philosophy that there is hope as long as there is life. So, how would I handle disappointment, the kind that has no remedy? What could happen to me that could make me lose hope? I am yet to find it. I hope I never do.

However, I have been around people who have felt this way. Broken-hearted people, discouraged people and some who only need the 13th reason to push them over the edge. People who have had the ground give way under them, and they suddenly can’t find their feet. It always gives me a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, an ache to the right of my chest and a teary itch in my eye.

I always think, ‘what could I possibly say to this person to give them hope?’ Words fail me. Especially when such people are of the household of Faith, what could I possibly tell them that they do not already know? 

I think to myself, too, if we have a High Priest who can relate to every one of our weaknesses (Hebrews 4 & 5) and remains to intercede on our behalf, then how distraught He must feel when He reaches for us, and we retreat further into our shell of misery and hopelessness. How grieved He must be when He stretches forth a healing hand, and we’d rather continuously drink from our bitter cup of sorrows.

There is sweet succour for EVERYONE here in Jesus. A place to rest when life has drained the strength from you and even when it hasn’t. Remember that He died for us ALL? That’s not just me but everyone that I see. I always have hope, not by a special formula; I can remain hopeful because I have the truest HOPE the world has ever known. JESUS. He never lets me wallow in my misery. When my eyes fail to see, His love guides my gaze until I find my silver lining. I never have to look too far. 

Recently, I received an order that I had waited the longest time for, and I was a little disappointed. Not at the order in particular but at the fact that it was not how I had envisaged it would be – it did not fit where I thought it would. As I prepared to throw myself a pity party to officially regret buying it in the first place (taking into consideration all the chances I got to make a different choice), I suddenly realised that I could just find a different use for it and that was the end of my misery. The Holy Spirit helped me to find my silver lining. 

I don’t ever have to worry about not finding my silver lining. Abba always helps me see it. If anything, that He is in charge of this beautiful, suspense-filled script that is my life is the greatest silver lining I can find in this large gloomy cloud of the world. That God is here with me. I don’t have to handle disappointments because He quickly turns them into blessings. And when things do not go as I planned, I can rest assured that things are going as He planned.

It’s always there, don’t you see? The evil done to a little boy with a coat of many colours (Jospeh) turned out to be the saving grace (from famine) for the household of Jacob. The evil done to that innocent Man of Galilee turned out to be the greatest love story ever told. 

If I could say one thing to someone who feels that all hope is lost, who thinks that they have been disappointed beyond recovery, I would say this – Maybe you already know, but here is your reminder – Jesus is the only hope that you will ever need. There IS a silver lining. There always is. Above all, Jesus is the hope we have that will never die, and He triumphs over every other thing in this world.
I would pray, too, that the Holy Spirit opens their eyes to see the good, even in the bad, and to see blessings and opportunities in every disappointment, in Jesus’ Name. Amen ✨

You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. 

Genesis 50:20 (NLT). 

P.S – I did try to listen to my music on shuffle recently, out of curiosity and rebellion to my usual routine, and it was amazing. I was like a whole new playlist. I highly recommend it. 😉

Shalom 🕊
God’s biro ✍️

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